HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We're too hungover to prance.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
