white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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