All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
