butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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