I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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