Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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