areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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