Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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