if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
FUCK WHALES
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
