Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
