Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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