FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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