I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she peed on how many people?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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