Apparently you make a good broom.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize