my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
