it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
