Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
