kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
