just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
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