careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
