Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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