so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
