Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize