Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize