is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
