She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
