It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
