hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
