im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
