I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
