bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize