there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
How's work?
Spinning.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
