also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize