so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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