It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
