I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
