It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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