New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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