i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
a search helicopter?!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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