We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
