You can't motorboat a personality
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
