I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
