those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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