If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
