OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
