Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
