The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
