and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i came on her dog
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize