I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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