Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
