What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
