he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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