Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
