hell yes lets make some ravioli
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
