every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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