OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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