So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
