my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
