No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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