I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
