It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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