I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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