She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize