Buhtt sex?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
