i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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