i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
